Post by Ashleigh Grimes on Jul 27, 2016 18:55:38 GMT -5
July 23, 2016
Las Vegas, Nevada
Gramercy Apartments - 7:00 PM
** OFF CAMERA **
Can you hear me? Are you listening? Can you keep a secret? Don’t tell Gavin. He doesn’t like it when I fuck with my meds. Neither do the doctors. They say it’s dangerous. Do you know what else is dangerous? Stepping into the ring against Judas without my edge; I’ll take my chances with the meds.
What the fuck?! Can you hear me? Are you seeing this? Tell me you’re not seeing this. This can’t be true…
We discussed this. He’s been off. He was off during our tag match. You saw him. He hasn’t been the same since Bull attacked him. He promised he wouldn’t take extra bookings, you heard him promise. This is a misunderstanding. It has to be. The Sommersby match will be canceled, you’ll see.
He did it again, played me for a fool. I mean it this time; I’m done. I grab his gym bag and cram whatever clothing I can find into it. I hear his key in the door.
I’m done!!
I meet him at the door at drop the bag at his feet. The expression on his face is priceless. Remember that look, you’ll see it again, when I take his title.
Ashleigh: Aw, leaving so soon? So sad. Buh bye.
I turn away. Can you see him? Is he crying? I bet he’s crying.
Gavin: Don't you think kicking me out is a little counterproductive? Come on babe, don't do this.
He’s not crying. I must be losing my touch. I turn to face him.
Ashleigh: How many matches are you wrestling on Saturday?
You and I already know the answer but at least we get to watch him squirm.
Gavin: Two, I'm fighting Heath and Sasha. But listen, Heath won’t get a move in... I promise. It's not the same as those other times I was double booked. I swear.
Do you believe him? Me neither.
Ashleigh: Get out.
Gavin: What?! C’mon babe. What can I do to fix this?
Ashleigh: Nothing. You obviously don't take me seriously so I have to do something drastic. You nearly collapsed in the locker room after our tag match; scratch that, you did collapse and you made me promise not to call a medic, yet here you are cramming a shit ton of matches into a single week once again. Good for you Gavin, enjoy yourself. I hope it's worth it. I hope it’s worth us.
There he goes, picking up his bag and playing the victim. He promised. You heard him promise!
Gavin: I'd say I'll see you when we leave for San Francisco on Tuesday but I don't think you're coming, so… in case I don't see you, I love you.
Not as much as you love yourself. He looks like a cowering puppy. Just go already.
Gavin: Just so you know, I didn't only collapse after our match; I woke up on the floor of my locker room after my match with Jackson too. Full disclosure and all.
Did he just say he woke up in his locker room after his match with Jax?! Can you feel it? It’s like a sickness; building in my stomach, sliding up my trachea, retching from my mouth in the middle of the hallway for everyone to hear.
Ashleigh: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE NOW?! YOU'RE MAKING MY POINT FOR ME?! HOW CAN YOU THINK THIS IS OKAY?! IT'S NOT OKAY!! YOU CAN'T ONLY THINK ABOUT YOURSELF ANYMORE!!
It’s gone, I’ve lost control. I shouldn’t have come off my meds. I’m sorry you have to see this. I’m sorry I have to feel this.
My fist strikes the door with enough force to dent the outer casing but it’s got a steel core. Of course it has a steel core, why wouldn’t it? Did you see that? Everything went black for a second.
Gavin: FUCK!!
He’s rushing towards me. It’s broken, I know it’s broken. You know it too. His hands are on my shoulders, which is good because I’m woozy.
Gavin: I'll leave if you want me to but please let me put some ice on this for you. You may have just broken your fucking hand.
May have? It’s broken. I’m an idiot. Do you see that look in his eyes? I’ve seen it before. It’s guilt. So much guilt.
Ashleigh: Do whatever you want, you always do. Stay or go, it’s up to you; but I'll get my own ice.
Did you hear my voice hitch? It hurts so bad. Hopefully he didn’t hear it. It’s hard to be a bad ass with tears in your eyes.
Gavin: Wait!
He’s standing in front of me. Why is he standing in front of me?
Gavin: I'm sorry. I've been feeling off for a while now, ever since my match with Kenzie, and Corey putting me through that table was the icing on the cake. I tried to lie to myself... lie to you... lie to everyone about it. I was in denial. I thought I could handle this, but I can't. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. If you want me to be done for a bit, I'm done. If you want me to get checked by a doctor before my match with Blyss, I will. Just please don't push me away. I know I don't deserve you and I'm a piece of shit but I fucking need you. I'm scared, okay?
Now he’s crying. Can you believe this? Did he just break HIS hand?
Ashleigh: My fucking hand is killing me and you're standing between me and the ice.
He looks like I just shot his puppy, or his sister, or his sister’s puppy.
Gavin: Right. I'll let you get to it then.
Off he goes; schlepping towards the door, his posture all defeated.
Ashleigh: I didn't say you had to leave, Gavin!
Who said that? Did YOU say that?! Ice. I need ice. Gavin will be fine. My hand however, fucking hurts. I’ll catch up with him, he moves slow when he’s sulking.
There we go, hand wrapped. Now to find Gavin. Ten bucks says he didn’t make it past the hallway. There he is, slumped down on the floor with his head in his hands, holding a goddamn pity party. You owe me ten bucks.
Ashleigh: If you expect me to baby you after you did this shit to yourself, you're crazy. Just like I don't expect you to baby me for being an idiot and punching the door. Now pick yourself up and come back inside.
Gavin: Just leave me alone.
Ashleigh: Leave you alone?! Wow.
Fuck this; he can rot out there for all I care. I’m going inside. I’m so sick of his shit. He fucks up and then it’s too much for HIM to handle so he shuts down… and now he’s following me… right into the living room where he drops onto the couch in a heap. What the fuck?
Ashleigh: Why are you so upset right now? This is like that thing with your parents all over again.
Look at him. He can’t even look me in the eyes.
Gavin: Because this is the first time since I was stuck living with them that I feel weak.
Ashleigh: Physically weak?
Gavin: Yeah. I feel like I’m too tired, too weak, to fight out of any situation right now and instead of slowing down I went into panic mode and overdid it… again. I'm sorry I’m putting you through this. I'm an idiot.
Fuck. He needs me right now. You can’t be here. You need to go.
She exhales, crouching down in front of him as her hands reach for his.
Ashleigh: You are an idiot, but you're my idiot.
She leans over and tries to make eye contact with a soft smile.
Ashleigh: I suck at being nice while trying to save people from themselves so here's how this is going to work... I'm ringside for both your matches. I see you faltering, I'm interjecting. No compromise, no debate. Understood?
He looks at her and forces a weak smile.
Gavin: I'm fine with that as long as you let me drive you to the hospital to get your hand looked at. Please?
Ashleigh looks down at her hand and slides it from the wrapping. It's already changing color and puffing up like a balloon. She frowns before nodding.
Ashleigh: Yeah, sure.
He bites his lip, trying not to cry after seeing her hand but he can't help but drop a few tears.
Gavin: I've never seen you react like this. All you do is try to look out for me and I don't listen. I'm sorry I pushed you this far over the edge.
She frowns.
Ashleigh: You're not responsible for my actions, Gavin. Besides you're getting a full work up while we're in the ER.
He nods his head.
Gavin: I'll do whatever you want me to do. No more reckless shit from here on out, I promise.
She stands and grabs her keys with her good hand before tossing them to Gavin.
Ashleigh: Where have I heard that before?
He catches the keys and stands while shaking his head.
Gavin: I know you've heard me say it before, but this time I’m serious. This is the last time.
Ashleigh scowls as they head towards the door.
Ashleigh: It had better be.
** ON CAMERA **
Black and white. No bells. No whistles. No special effects as Ash’s dark eyes rise to meet the camera.
Ashleigh: Can you hear me, Dean? Are you listening? You got what you wanted; your shot. The one you deserve. You didn’t think I’d give it to you. You thought I’d tuck tail and hide behind a mountain of excuses like maybe a broken hand.
She raises her left hand to reveal a brace holding her swollen digits in place.
Ashleigh: But I’m here. I’m ready, and I’m waiting. Where are all the pictures of twelve year old me that you somehow have access to? Where are all the Gavin memes? And where oh where is the scared little girl you’re supposed to face? She’s not here, and neither are you. So come out, come out, wherever you are. Come out from behind the Angelz’ wings. Let go of Corey’s pant leg and step into the light so I can see you. Acerbic, relentless, vicious Dean Judas; let your voice be heard. Call me a cunt, call me a sinner, call me a whore. Call me everything you need me to be to fit the picture you’re trying to paint. Try harder Dean. Try to convince these people that you’re better than me in any way. But you can’t because you’re not; so you’ll use anything you can to distract them from the truth.
She draws a breath.
Ashleigh: Look at Ashleigh with her ugly scrunched up face. Look at Ashleigh with her lesbian husband. Look at Ashleigh playing pretend in a man’s sport. Look harder Dean, I mean really look and you’ll see the reality you refuse to confront; the reason you’ve suddenly got a bad case of the mutes. It’s you who’s pretending. It’s you who’s outclassed at every turn. You’re running out of options, scurrying about looking for the magic bullet that will pierce the heart of NGW and launch you to the top, but the only magic here is me… and you can’t run to me, can you? So you ran to the very stable you’ve been bad mouthing for months. You mocked and ridiculed them from atop your high horse and scoffed at the notion of ever joining… and you were right. Your criticism was spot on. The Angelz of Self-Destruction were taking on water and had no hope of making it to port before the impending storm. There you were, a lone swimmer drowning in obscurity, laughing at them as they threw life preserver after life preserver into the raging sea… and now? Now you decide to cling to one of those rings just as A.O.D. has gasped its last breath? It doesn’t make sense, then again most of what you do is nonsensical, isn’t it?
She shrugs.
Ashleigh: The night you officially joined A.O.D. both you and Corey lost to a team you said was beneath you, Corey was sent to the hospital courtesy of the most feminine champion you claim to have ever seen and the figure heads of your mighty stable, the undefeated Tag Team Champions, lost their first match. Sounds like a disastrous night for a stable that’s had nothing but disastrous nights. But wait, Gray Malone won. Fuck Gray Malone.
She chuckles while blowing a stray hair from her face.
Ashleigh: So why join A.O.D. after resisting for so long? Because they make the perfect scapegoat. You know this is the beginning of the end for you in NGW. The writing is on the wall, the clock is ticking and you need someone to blame for you not living up to the hype. Enter the keystone cops of professional wrestling. You’ll step in, claiming to be their savior, and blame each and every one of them when it all goes to shit. Fuck that. Step up and take the blame for your own shortcomings. You walked into NGW and thought you’d run roughshod over the competition. You saw names like Dirk Bentley and Corey Bull atop the rankings and you laughed. Like taking candy from a baby, but you were wrong. You never saw me, sitting all snug atop the Five Lakes Division, but I saw you. I saw you and thought; now there’s a man who thinks he can’t be beat. There’s a man who thinks we’re all beneath him. I can’t wait to prove him wrong.
A smile forms.
Ashleigh: You see Dean, there’s only one person here who can’t be beaten and though you both have long dark hair and wear eyeliner, she’s certainly not you. So allow me to bid you arrivederci, adios and au revoir. This is your swan song; the crescendo of your imperfect masterpiece, because I did the one thing you thought couldn’t be done. I exposed you. I invited you into the light in the place where it matters most, the ring. So here it is; the lonely spotlight with a single mic hanging from the rafters, waiting for you to reach out and grab it. Everyone’s ears are perked, wondering what you’ll say, but you’ve got nothing. Feed you the likes of Bentley or Silver and you can’t wait to wax poetic with meandering nonsense and pointless drivel. You have so much to say when up against the weaker members of the herd. A cowardly predator who picks his spots but when up against big game would rather cower in the darkness and starve to death than stand up and fight. Make no mistake, this herd, as pathetic as it may be, is my herd… not Gavin’s, mine. You wanted the top wrestler in NGW; you got her. I even secured you a spot in the main event. It’s what you’ve wanted from the day you signed here; to be treated like the talent you pretend to be. It’s why you got all cordial after I granted you this shot, because you didn’t expect to be called on your bullshit… you never thought you’d have to back up your rhetoric. You may have been in this business longer but in this company; it’s me who makes you. I have the power to give you a title shot, to make you a champion. Not Devlin, me; and I used that power to prove to the world that Dean Judas is nothing but smoke, mirrors and a whole lot of teenage angst.
She chuckles while shaking her head.
Ashleigh: You want to judge the way I live my life? You want to sit on high and criticize me as a human being? Be my guest. I’ve got plenty of holes to poke at. But to judge who I am in the ring; that’s a fool’s errand and you’ve proven yourself to be King Fool. The misfit joker laughing and dancing as he exits stage right rather than face the music. I’m sorry Dean, are they not playing your song? I suppose they don’t play the loser’s theme after the final bell. I wouldn’t know, I never lose. But tell me again how I should adapt to you. Use that paralyzing wit of yours to call me, “Ashole” which I find so hurtful even though I’ve been calling my own fans that since I made my Inferno debut. You think you’re novel, why; because you were institutionalized? Show me a wrestler who doesn’t have mental health issues and I’ll show you a wrestler who’s doing a hell of a job hiding their anguish. You like to finger paint with the blood of your opponents like a depraved child? Then make me bleed Dean. In fact…
She gingerly takes a pin between the fingers of her broken hand and pricks the index finger of her other hand before holding that finger towards the camera. While most of the picture remains in black and white a small dome of blood glistens in crimson red.
Ashleigh: There it is; my blood. The blood of someone who should be looked at as a god by you and everyone else in this company… no… this business. So yes Dean; I bleed, and I break, and I cry… I’m a god inside that ring but just like you outside of it.
She scoffs.
Ashleigh: Who am I kidding? I’m better than you even outside of it, which is saying something because I’m a self-centered piece of shit. So take a good look at this blood…
She wags her bleeding finger to and fro.
Ashleigh: …and take a good look at this hand…
She once again holds the brace up for the camera.
Ashleigh: This is as close to seeing me bloody and broken as you’ll get. This fed is not your kingdom and I am not yours to conquer. You want to overthrow the power couple and upset the balance but you’re not strong enough, you’re not smart enough, and you’re not committed… well, at least not in the determined sense. So save your lunatic rantings for someone you can actually spook, and save those controversial tweets for those stupid enough to take you seriously. I stopped being afraid of the boogeyman years ago and I came up through a system that was rife with the mentally deranged so don’t think for a second that you’re showing me something I haven’t seen before. Your absurdity is by design, your insanity a gimmick. The truth reveals itself in those who rise up to face a challenge when the gauntlet is thrown down, and you Dean have proven yourself a shrinking violet. Little Dean Judas, the boy who cried, “Why aren’t I in the main event?” and then disappeared into the shadows when he got his wish. I guess some wishes are better left unfulfilled.
She chuckles before her dark eyes set upon the camera once more.
Ashleigh: Can you hear me, Dean? Are you listening? Does it even matter?