Post by koro on Jun 29, 2016 6:22:46 GMT -5
Fontainebleau Casino. Today.
“What?! Why am… Who? Nyet!”
Koro stands in his kitchen, staring in horror at his phone. He quickly mashes a button and begins shouting at the small screen.
“Siri, is this being some kind of not funny jokes?” His eyes, still wide with shock, stare holes into the phone, anxiously awaiting an answer.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Try asking in a different way,” Siri coolly replies.
Koro throws his head back and groans in frustration. “Why am Koro fighting friends? Koro not wanting to smash Khonda or Keg!”
Koro sits down at his kitchen table and stares off into the distance, lost in thought as the scene fades out to a ...
Flashback Montage!
Breakfast Buffet at the Bellagio, Las Vegas, Nevada
“You got your damn money, Frenchy, so where's the brew?” Keg slaps his palms on the white linen tablecloth, launching a spoon and several packets of Splenda into the air.
“Sir, it’s 7 in the morning. We offer a variety of juices and our award winning espresso bar is available, but –” The waiter’s diatribe is cut short as Koro stuffs half of an English muffin into the waiter’s mouth.
Khonda snickers briefly. “Keg did not ask what time it was. Keg did not ask about the other beverages available here. Maybe you do not listen well-” Khonda pauses and glances at the waiter’s name tag, “Maurice. Maybe you do not listen well, Maurice, so Khonda will repeat the question. Where is his beer?”
Maurice begins to object around the muffin, but quickly thinks better of it. He spits the muffin out and sighs, “It’s just a job. Just do your damn job, Maurice. What kind of beer would you like, sir?”
Keg grins. “I like the cold kind, and keep ‘em coming!”
Maurice starts trudging back to the kitchen. As he leaves, Koro shouts, “And Koro wanting refill on steak and eggs!”
Universal Studios Hollywood Theme Park, California
“This is a waste of time. Khonda will eat another turkey leg while you engage in this foolishness,” Khonda hisses in disdain as he walks toward a shady bench outside the Minion Mayhem attraction. People dressed as bright yellow cartoon Minions frolic around through the crowds of tourists. Keg glares at the garish colors and laughing children while he takes a long pull off a bottle of Ol' No. 7. Koro, however, grins from ear to ear as he dashes closer to a character meet-and-greet location.
“Looking, Comrades! Is famous American movie star Gru and his Minion! He is being Koro’s favorite! Taking my picture, Keg!” Koro squeals in an excited yet manly fashion.
Keg peers over the top of his sunglasses and replies, “Nah, y’all are on your own there, Russki.”
Koro, nonplussed by Keg’s rejection, grabs the costumed Gru in a massive bear hug. “Comrade Gru, Koro loving your movies! Telling Koro about time you stealing the moon? Or maybe telling Koro about working with Anti-Villain League!” He continues chattering on at the costumed character until a park employee interjects herself into their decidedly one-sided conversation. “Sir, Gru needs to get back to work in his lab, so if you could kindly let go of his arm…?”
Koro’s face turns red in anger. He loosens his grasp somewhat, but does not let go. Several yards away, a popcorn cart suddenly overturns as Khonda stands defiantly glaring at the employee, daring her to say something. As she starts running toward the scattered popcorn, a cry goes up from the tourists nearby Gru. A child screams “That guy is peeing in that trash can!” as the crowd starts running away.
Keg tosses his empty bottle into the trash can as he zips his pants. “You fuckin' owe me, you Communist moron. Go talk to that cartoon goon while Uncle Keg deals with these rent-a-cops.”
As Koro is left alone with Gru, from within the costume, a voice mutters, “Quitting time is in 45 minutes. Just do your job, Joey. Just do your stupid job and get paid.”
Koro’s kitchen, today
The words from Maurice and Joey echo through Koro’s mind over and over again as he looks back to the camera. “Just doing your job, Koro… Da. Koro will doing job. Just because Koro is friends with Khonda and Keg do not mean we cannot wrestling. We will being friends before match. We will being friends after match. Koro will doing job and winning, because Koro is best at wrestle. We will eating breakfast first, then we wrestle, then Koro winning, then we go to buffet for dinner!”
Koro smiles. “At City of Sin, Koro will do job and will do job best! Koro winning! Koro SMASH!”
“What?! Why am… Who? Nyet!”
Koro stands in his kitchen, staring in horror at his phone. He quickly mashes a button and begins shouting at the small screen.
“Siri, is this being some kind of not funny jokes?” His eyes, still wide with shock, stare holes into the phone, anxiously awaiting an answer.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Try asking in a different way,” Siri coolly replies.
Koro throws his head back and groans in frustration. “Why am Koro fighting friends? Koro not wanting to smash Khonda or Keg!”
Koro sits down at his kitchen table and stares off into the distance, lost in thought as the scene fades out to a ...
Flashback Montage!
Breakfast Buffet at the Bellagio, Las Vegas, Nevada
“You got your damn money, Frenchy, so where's the brew?” Keg slaps his palms on the white linen tablecloth, launching a spoon and several packets of Splenda into the air.
“Sir, it’s 7 in the morning. We offer a variety of juices and our award winning espresso bar is available, but –” The waiter’s diatribe is cut short as Koro stuffs half of an English muffin into the waiter’s mouth.
Khonda snickers briefly. “Keg did not ask what time it was. Keg did not ask about the other beverages available here. Maybe you do not listen well-” Khonda pauses and glances at the waiter’s name tag, “Maurice. Maybe you do not listen well, Maurice, so Khonda will repeat the question. Where is his beer?”
Maurice begins to object around the muffin, but quickly thinks better of it. He spits the muffin out and sighs, “It’s just a job. Just do your damn job, Maurice. What kind of beer would you like, sir?”
Keg grins. “I like the cold kind, and keep ‘em coming!”
Maurice starts trudging back to the kitchen. As he leaves, Koro shouts, “And Koro wanting refill on steak and eggs!”
Universal Studios Hollywood Theme Park, California
“This is a waste of time. Khonda will eat another turkey leg while you engage in this foolishness,” Khonda hisses in disdain as he walks toward a shady bench outside the Minion Mayhem attraction. People dressed as bright yellow cartoon Minions frolic around through the crowds of tourists. Keg glares at the garish colors and laughing children while he takes a long pull off a bottle of Ol' No. 7. Koro, however, grins from ear to ear as he dashes closer to a character meet-and-greet location.
“Looking, Comrades! Is famous American movie star Gru and his Minion! He is being Koro’s favorite! Taking my picture, Keg!” Koro squeals in an excited yet manly fashion.
Keg peers over the top of his sunglasses and replies, “Nah, y’all are on your own there, Russki.”
Koro, nonplussed by Keg’s rejection, grabs the costumed Gru in a massive bear hug. “Comrade Gru, Koro loving your movies! Telling Koro about time you stealing the moon? Or maybe telling Koro about working with Anti-Villain League!” He continues chattering on at the costumed character until a park employee interjects herself into their decidedly one-sided conversation. “Sir, Gru needs to get back to work in his lab, so if you could kindly let go of his arm…?”
Koro’s face turns red in anger. He loosens his grasp somewhat, but does not let go. Several yards away, a popcorn cart suddenly overturns as Khonda stands defiantly glaring at the employee, daring her to say something. As she starts running toward the scattered popcorn, a cry goes up from the tourists nearby Gru. A child screams “That guy is peeing in that trash can!” as the crowd starts running away.
Keg tosses his empty bottle into the trash can as he zips his pants. “You fuckin' owe me, you Communist moron. Go talk to that cartoon goon while Uncle Keg deals with these rent-a-cops.”
As Koro is left alone with Gru, from within the costume, a voice mutters, “Quitting time is in 45 minutes. Just do your job, Joey. Just do your stupid job and get paid.”
Koro’s kitchen, today
The words from Maurice and Joey echo through Koro’s mind over and over again as he looks back to the camera. “Just doing your job, Koro… Da. Koro will doing job. Just because Koro is friends with Khonda and Keg do not mean we cannot wrestling. We will being friends before match. We will being friends after match. Koro will doing job and winning, because Koro is best at wrestle. We will eating breakfast first, then we wrestle, then Koro winning, then we go to buffet for dinner!”
Koro smiles. “At City of Sin, Koro will do job and will do job best! Koro winning! Koro SMASH!”