Post by Kenzie Rydell on Jun 14, 2016 1:16:34 GMT -5
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HAZEL.
Chapter One
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HAZEL.
Chapter One
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With a pencil between her teeth, Kenzie's hazel orbs scanned the piece of paper lying lazily on her desk. The words were incoherent, an alien language she couldn't quite discern, a soft frustration overflowing with her. Her attention naturally traveled elsewhere, a young Spencer to her left having no qualms with the questions he was given. Holding the pencil in his fist like a neanderthal completely juxtaposing his steady handwriting, the letters drawn with perfect precision and grace. Unable to fight the incessant urge, Kenzie peeked. She needed to know whether or not he got a different worksheet than her. Maybe there was some kind of mistake. Maybe—
No. His paper was written in the same strange language. The squiggles appeared to be an unusual cocktail of Arabic, French with the accents over several of the letters, and Mandarin Chinese. What was going on?
"Spence? Spencer, can you read this?" Her whisper was muffled, strange. Why couldn't she remember how she even got here? "I think something's wrong." He didn't answer. For once, he actually focused on the paper in front of him, inching closer and closer to the bottom while she just struggled to even fill out the answer to the first question. Her heart started to beat, quicker and quicker inside her chest. Her pencil absentmindedly scanned the first question over and over again with no avail. It was gibberish. There was no way around it. And just when she thought she could maybe figure it out if she took the time to examine every letter she recognized, something made her nearly jump out of her skin.
"Do you really think you even deserved it?" The female's voice sounded almost like her own, but something intangible was different about it. Kenzie struggled to think of what she meant, trying to focus her keen mind on all the possibilities. That's when her eyes opened wide, the disembodied voice continuing its speech.
"The NGW Five Lakes Championship. It wasn't your burden to carry, Kenzie. You were just keeping it warm for someone else while Karin Jones stayed on the sidelines." The world around her seemed to fall away, an endless white void surrounding her. The piece of paper faded into the desk, and no matter how hard Kenzie looked around, she couldn't find the source of the voice that talked to her.
"That's not true," she finally indulged in the voice's whims, desperately trying to defend herself. "I earned that championship! I won that battle royal. I—" The voice cut her off.
"You beat Axle and John Blade? That hardly constitutes a champion," she scoffed, mocking her. It almost sounded like Ashleigh Jericho for a moment, a hint of her tone hidden right behind the echo of Kenzie's own voice. "When the chips were on the table, and you finally had a real challenge, you succumbed to the pressure. You let Shelley Silver of all people steal the only thing that kept you relevant, and now you're just another face in the crowd."
"That's not true," she shouted back, desperate while her body ached, hearing the words carve her to pieces. "I'm more than that! I'm— I'm one of the best in NGW right now..."
"Please. You couldn't even win your battle royal," she continued, taunting her mercifully right where it hurt. "And before you say, 'yes, I did,' here's a reminder. It was a tie. A tie with someone who isn't even employed in NGW any longer. Way to go! That's second place." Her sarcasm was blatant, the embodiment of her doubts relentless in its dissection of the former NGW Five Lakes Champion.
"No!" She stood up from her desk, standing in the middle of the void, screaming out to anyone who would listen while the desk beside her disappeared into oblivion. "That's not fair! I earned everything I've gotten here in NGW. I've fought some of the best in this sport and proved I could be the second longest Five Lakes Champion in NGW's history books! That's big, okay?"
"It's about as big as being the tallest midget in a room," it flat out answered, diffusing any bit of confidence Kenzie could spark to the surface. "First of all, you had your free pass for the Five Lakes Championship, and you blew it. In a handicap match. With Gavin Grimes on your side! And that's just one reason you're just a joke," it hammered home, not stopping its assault for a second. "And before Jessica Jones could even use that Five Lakes Rags 2 Riches briefcase, the one she stole from you, she left. That's how 'prestigious' that title you kept holding over your head means in the grand scheme of things."
Kenzie dropped to her knees like she's just been struck with a weapon.
"It's why everybody left when they realized you were the one they were going up against, Kenzie. Nobody actually wanted the NGW Five Lakes Championship, as long as you were its figurehead. You're a failure. You're worthless. You couldn't even beat Shelley Silver and Gray Malone when it counts, and now you're right where you deserve - fighting people like Elena Balin and John Blade without any shred of fanfare whatsoever. And once Ashleigh Jericho takes your place, you'll just be another forgotten loser who just happened to get lucky when you profited from Karin James' timely absence and Dead Eye's injury like the selfish bitch you've always been."
Another strike hit harder than the first. Kenzie felt it too, her skull crashing to the ground beneath her. Of course, the ground looked indistinguishable from the rest of the void, an invisible solid surface giving her a concussion. Tears streamed down Kenzie's face, emotion contorting her expression. It felt like the world was ending like the walls were closing in on her the more she lied on her back in the middle of all this nothingness. She struggled to breathe, gasping for air, rolling to her side to try and cough everything out.
"You're right," Kenzie audibly sobbed, a sudden cold breeze surrounding her from the neck down. "I'll... I'll start over. I'll be better. I'll— I'll train harder, be smarter, do whatever I need to do, just stop! Please! I'll do anything, just... Just stop..." Curling up into a ball, she continued to cry, the words from the embodiment of her own self-doubts still echoing inside her own head like clockwork.
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"C'mon, Kenzie. It's 12 'o'clock, it's time to wake up," Spencer told the Kenzie burrito, all wrapped up in the comforter. Tugging it away from her, he tossed it to the ground and shook her awake until her eyes finally opened, a groggy voice finally answering.
"Five more minutes," she told him, shutting her eyes again. She couldn't even remember the absurd dream she had, aside from the fact that it was bad. Still, Kenzie being Kenzie, sleep was never a bad thing.
"C'mon, it's a big day today," Spencer's eyes furrowed. "I'll tell you about it over brunch, but then you've gotta record your promo, okay? You don't have much time." Kenzie's eyes hesitantly opened again, those beautiful hazel eyes hiding emotions within her that even she couldn't explain. With a groan, she sat up and made it to her feet, letting her nose lead the way towards the smell of waffles and syrup.
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"I— I wanna be honest with you, Elana," Kenzie began to speak, her hands fidgetting on her lap while she sat in her seat under fluorescent lights. It was clear then when she reached on the table to grab a Big Mac that she was at McDonalds, the woman who lost a tremendous amount of weight on her mind."I don't dislike you, like at all. And right now, with everything that's been happening, with the tragedy in Orlando... Mindlessly spreading hate isn't something I want to do either, but with sincerity in mind, I have to tell you the truth. And that truth is, this match came at the worst possible time for you."
"I understand that need you have to find success, that primal urge you have to stand at the top of the food chain. I saw that when you mentioned Gavin in your first video as a champion you'd want to face instead of me at a time when I was champion but I get it. You wanna come in, rocket to the top, do whatever you need to do to make a name for yourself, that's fine," she sighed, looking down at her burger. " It's just, I don't want you to expect to step right over me. Not now. I'm not in the mood."
"Everyone has a story, sure, but that doesn't mean we're entitled to victory here in NGW. That's just a fair warning, something I've learned so far in my short wrestling tenure," she continued, those hazel eyes of hers looking directly into the camera lens across from her with a soft expression. "It's what you do in the ring that matters. And while I applaud you for your personal success, losing all that weight and all - it's amazing, don't get me wrong - that story's not going to gain you any sympathy wins here, and I'm sure Devlin's not just going to hand you good matches from here on out because he feels sorry for you, you know?"
"You're new here, I get it. You'll take any chance you can to get noticed, even if that means taking down the second longest NGW Five Lakes Champion, but that's not easy. That's not just something you can do with hardly any experience here. Especially now," her face subtly changed, more aggressive in her features while her eyebrows furrowed and her jaw clenched. "I'm at the lowest I've ever been in my career with nothing left to lose and you best be ready I'm not just going to crawl up in a ball and die, alright?"
"You're not taking advantage of my fall from grace. You're not going to look me in the eyes when we get into that ring and see a damaged girl, you're going to see one of the most powerful, confident women whose ever stepped foot in a wrestling ring and you're going to be in under your head, understand?" She smiled for less than a second, overflowing with more confidence than you've ever seen hidden behind those hazel orbs. "No, I don't hate you. You're just in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"See, lately, things haven't been going my way. My championship reign was a joke when you look back and look at it objectively. John Blade, Axle, not exactly blockbuster title defenses, I get it. I understand," she pointed out her own flaw, that soft smile still unflinching across her face. "And now that I'm not a target anymore, I'm free to change things. I'm free to keep this new attitude going, to look face to face with doubt itself and say that I'm not going to accept what it has to say. It means I'm free to fight harder than I've ever fought before. It means I can step out and walk into that ring and show my worth to each and every one of you watching at home or watching live so you can finally begin to comprehend exactly what makes me who I am."
"Actions speak louder than words, and when I go out there, I'm— You know what, Elena? I'm not sorry. I don't like you," she suddenly swerved her stance, taking another bite of her Big Mac like it was a statement. "I'm not going to let your success story about how you lost so much weight blind me from the fact that you're exactly what made you feel so self-conscious in the first place - a bully. And you can own it all you want, make it sound like it's cool, but it's not. Especially now. It just makes you a sheep to that ongoing hate train that can't stop and be understanding for five seconds without immediately looking down on everyone else that doesn't look or think exactly like they do!"
"When you've got people in ISIS killing with assault rifles and handguns right in our borders just because they believe the antiquated shit about how 'being gay is wrong' or 'being gay is against my religion,' or whatever the hell they use to justify their horrific actions, it gives a new meaning to the term bully," she shot back at anyone listening, passion and vitriol coating every single word. "And when you go around like your shit doesn't stink like it's okay to say some of the things you say without any repercussions just because you were bullied growing up just like I was, it just gets on my nerves, okay? It bothers me that you think that's okay after everything you went through!"
"Show some respect. Screw you and that horse you rode in on," she shouted, taking another bite of her burger after taking another sip of her coca-cola. "You wanna use your past to say you're better than us, whatever. Pretty much everyone in wrestling does the same thing, I'm sure that's unintentionally myself included, but when you're going up against one of the best damn things to step inside a NGW ring and you still have that callous attitude, don't be too shocked when you're treated with a kick to the head. And no, not just any kick. The best kick in the sport - The Jackknife - and spoiler alert? That hurts."
"But you want to keep running around like your god's gift to wrestling, go ahead. A thousand people before you did the same thing, and so will a billion more. It's just the way things are. Just get this, you're not going to capitalize when I'm the one staring you right in the face, ready to tear you down the minute that damn bell rings, and you know what? You wanna keep calling people jokes? Look in the damn mirror. There's one looking right back at you once you do."
That glint in those beautiful hazel eyes was unmistakable. The doubt that constantly haunted her mind temporarily disappeared, her entire focus situated on Elena Balin instead. It was an entirely different Kenzie Rydell than the one you've seen before, an unapologetic version that didn't let her doubts define her. On the contrary, she was a machine, her targets on one person and one person only, and by the look in her eye, nothing was going to get in her way.
"People want to call me forgettable? Fine. Call me what the hell you want. I'm fine with it, really. I understand. And maybe you're even right, but you wanna know something? That ends today," she flat out told anyone watching, specifically talking about Ashleigh Jericho's words earlier in the week. "No matter what you say, it doesn't phase me. It just motivates me that much more to take back what's mine, what I never should've lost since I wasn't even the one pinned. It just makes me want to start over from the bottom and reach my way up towards the top better than I've ever been before, so really, I should be thanking you. Any one of you who have anything bad to say about me, go ahead. Keep at it. Keep spraying your venom, keep giving me that constructive criticism, and I'll just keep coming back stronger."
"And to anyone watching, you can think about me however you want, it's totally fine. You bought the tickets, you watch me on TV, you can feel however you want to feel. The best I can do is just be who I am instead of being someone I'm not, and at the end of the day, that's all I can do, isn't it?" she smirked, another bite of her Big Mac.
"And if you have a problem with it too, Elena? Speak up. Tell me. Show me in that ring. Prove to me why you deserve to step up against Gavin Grimes and why I'm so 'utterly inferior' for you to even give me a mention. 'Cause if you can't handle me, there's no fucking way you're ever going to have a chance against Gavin, straight up. I can't even lie to you," she chuckled softly, thinking about it. "But go ahead. Keep dreaming. Keep talking to your brother about how you're going to be one of the top stars in NGW while ignoring the rest of the talent flooding this roster, totally fine. Just don't get your big girl panties in a bunch when you realize that's not possible at my expense."
"But hey, good luck trying! It'll be a blast using you as a stepping stone," she grinned proudly, those bright hazel eyes glinting in the fluorescent lights yet again. "You ready for the real renaissance, NGW? I can't promise everyone else will follow suit, but I can promise one thing — you're getting the best Kenzie Rydell you've ever seen and Elena Balin's the first reprehensible human being in the way."
With that, the YouTube video comes to an end by slowly fading to black.
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Once the video camera stops recording, Kenzie's head slumps back down, her eyes staring at the Big Mac, thinking about everything she just said. With a sigh, she takes another sip and finishes her sandwich, wondering whether or not she was on the right track. Was she too harsh? Too full of herself?
The doubts crept up again. They always did.
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