Post by khonda on Jun 3, 2016 11:12:36 GMT -5
*Scene opens with a shot of a rather large amount of weights on a bench press bar being lifted up and down, much like how strippers booties go, as according to American bard DJ Khaled, whom by the way Khonda thinks is terrible. But yes, we see the behemoth of beat downs, the colossus of crash, the sultan of smash, none other than Khonda, lifting an amount of weight that seems too high to count unless you have an advanced math degree. After his final rep of his final set, he racks the weight and sits up, taking a towel and wiping his brow with a towel.*
Khonda: Khodna get right to point. Khonda not happy. Khonda not happy that time being spent working out is having to be interrupted by two moron opponents who should know better than to anger Khonda. Khonda having triple threat match at Vendetta, and idiot opponents of Khonda not knowing when to stop talking....so Khonda now not only beat them, Khonda punish them both.
*Khonda stands, and is wearing what seems to be yoga pants? Dear god you can see everything. But Khonda walks with such authority and confidence that he either doesn't know his pants are way too small, or he doesn't care. Knowing Khonda, it is probably the latter. *
Khonda: Xian Long thinking that his training will save him from Khonda and Khonda's wrath. Xian....or X as it seems he liking to be called....because X is "SO EXTREME!!!" and cool and edgy for what is otherwise a forgettable opponent for Khonda. X FOR XTREME!!!! is training fighting many sandbags in big house. This reminds Khonda of America film Daredevil starring the guy from Gilgi and that lady from the shampoo commercials. Elektra fighting sandbags too...and we know what happen in third act of movie. She die...and it was fatal. Spoilers for 15 year old film. Khonda not caring though. What Khonda caring about is that....X FOR XTREME is training with sandbags like silly shampoo commercial lady who also played silly dressing up spy lady in Alias. Sandbags no hit back...but Khonda is hitting back...harder, faster, and stronger than anything Xian Long or John Blade ever encounter.
*Khonda grabs a bottle of water, opens it up, and drinks the entire bottle*
Khonda:Xian asked interesting questions....between climbing tree like hippie tree hugger and fighting sandbags like tiny Hollywood actress only famous for being married to co-star of crappy Daredevil movie...Khonda seeing Xian Long....X.....asking why Khonda is at NGW. Xian then talking about how he want to be the best, want to make a name, and want to become world renown and wining championships. Here is key difference between Xian Long and Khonda....
Khona already the greatest and best in world. Khonda already made huge name, and Khonda already world renown. No matter how hard Xian work with his (Khonda starts speaking in high pitch, squeaky voice to mock Xian) "Jeepers guys...X is trying best to be the best!!! Hope to beat Khonda and John Blade so X can win championship!!!"
*khonda clears throat*
Khonda: Key difference between Khonda and Xian Long and John Blade is that Khonda walk into any room in any building in any place in any world, and Khonda already knowing Khonda greatest and strongest. Nothing faze Khonda. It why Khonda wearing tight yoga pants like sexy soccer mom. Because Khonda pull it off and no one say word about it for fear of Khonda using "Strongest Style". No worries....Xian Long getting up close view of Khonda and "Strongest Style"
Now letting Khonda speak about John Blade. Khonda being good man. Khonda in on joke. Khonda knowing role...play along.....promote legendary status....be good guy and keep John Blade joke going. But Khonda tired of laughing and entertaining inferior opponents. Khonda no longer play along....Khonda now all business and now business is smashing and crushing and winning. Khonda now showing entire NGW locker room why Khonda named "10th Wonder of the World" and showing John Blade and Xian Long that going against Khonda is very very bad for health. While John Blade sitting in locker room waiting for match to start for days on end....Khonda getting stronger.....while Xian Long hanging out at giant house for some odd reason....Khonda training with real people for real matches....not fighting make believe like little idiot child pretending to be ninja or warrior what ever is you think you are.
Khonda giving real dose of reality to both Xian Long and John Blade....Khonda knowing that people are very impressed and in awe of the biggest and best things in life....and Khonda is biggest and best athlete and wrestler in NGW and in world.
Now if you excusing Khonda...Khonda earned great meal of steak and whiskey for amazing workout. Maybe John Blade and Xian Long follow suit and earn something someday....but only thing now those two earn is beating at the hands of Khonda. Khonda happy to oblige.
*Khonda heads of camera, his giant shapely hind quarters swaying back and forth in his yoga pants. Its oddly hypnotic and the screen fades to black*