Post by khonda on Jun 1, 2016 18:17:06 GMT -5
*The smell of grilled beef whiffs through the air. Somehow the camera is able to capture the essence of the smell even though its kinda impossible to share a smell over such a medium. Any who, as the camera pans out….fairly wide….in order to capture the entirety of the mountain of a man that is Khonda. Khonda is enjoying a rather impossibly large steak and he is smoking a cigar.*
Khonda: Khonda here to show and tell people about something…legendary. Legend states about legendary man who exploits were….legendary. That man…..
*Khonda sighs and grabs the bridge of his nose with two fingers*
Khonda: Khonda cannot do this. Khonda wanted to use opening scene from “Kung-Fu Panda”, greatest movie of this and any other generation, but Khonda cannot sully name of great and powerful Jack Black star of “Kung-Fu Panda”. Khonda was going to compare great american epic to the less than epic and somewhat confusing legend of John Blade. For some reason, story of John Blade make it way all the way across oceans to the home of Khonda.
*Khonda takes a large drag of his cigar and blows out a large plume of smoke*
Khonda: See….Khonda heard stories of man in New Generation Wrestling that never give up, never quit…and never quit get that he in nothing but joke. Khonda hear story of man who try really hard, and here in America apparently participation is rewarded. Mediocre people come and try hardest, still fail, but get trophy or ribbon or kiss from prom queen. But this make for weak man, and somehow John Blade is victim of such circumstance. John Blade has risen as some sort of folk hero, some sort of mythical man….but Khonda make something very, very clear. The only thing legendary about John Blade will be the legendary beating Khonda give to both him and to Xian Long at Vendetta. What these people not know is Khonda being smashing them two pieces in ring….smashing so hard that janitor staff needing to get mop and bucket and broom to collect what left of John Blade and Xian Long.
*Khonda opens his hand, and puts his cigar out by snuffing it out in his palm*
Khonda: Khonda knowing he fight two men….one man is John Blade, who barely tolerable and get pass by many for how long he been around. Khonda however not tolerate failure, and Khonda smashing stupid man in Khonda’s way.
As for Xian Long, Khonda laughing at man as he jumps out of trees like pot smoking hippie from nineteen sixty american Woodstock. Xian Long talking how Khonda strength is weakness. Khonda wonder what exactly kind drugs you smoking to say something as stupid as “strength is weakness”. If trying to be ironic, you fail. If trying to be funny, you fail. And if Xian Long think he can beat Khonda, he fail again there.He out like man swinging baseball bat or out like British pianist and trend setter Sir Elton John. Xian Long talking about speed and trying to stop and eliminate Khonda. Khonda only laugh because Xian so sad. Xian weigh one hundred fifty american pounds. Khonda literally crap things bigger than Xian Long. And like a giant crap to Khonda, a thing that for minute or two is mildly annoying but ultimately gets flushed and forgotten, Khonda beating Xian and forgetting about him. Because Xian Long and John Blade very forgettable when compared to “The 10th Wonder of the World” Khonda. Khonda bigger, stronger, and dangeroues-er than anyone on NGW roster, IPW roster, Alpha roster, and any other roster in known world. Nothing stop Khonda.
*Khonda rises, knowing over the table*
Khonda: Xian Long thinking he win championship? John Blade thinking he has chance at stopping Khonda? Not with Khonda in ring! If ring were jungle, John Blade being rare colorful fruit eating bird. He kind of neat to see, but very small and dumb and squawk loudly and annoy once he is seen. Xian Long like silly monkey who trying to walk in front of lion and get eaten quickly and hard. Khonda is like giant King Kong size gorilla that all jungle either fear now….or soon will.
Khonda show both John Blade and Xian Long what real fear is. Khonda now compare self to other great movie….”Kung-Fu Panda 2”. Khonda have type and flavor of kung-fu used to wrestling in ring. Khonda have “Strongest Style” and use it to be beating Xian Long and John Blade. Might as well make handicapped match since Khonda going to win anyway. Needing army of guys and weapons to stop Khonda, and Xian Long and John Blade have neither…..Khonda be smashing them harder than tiny sorority girl smashing lame clear liquor like vodka before taking random guy home and making walk of shame in morning.
Khonda making John Blade and Xian Long shameful and walk home like second semester freshman girl. How that make you two feel. Should be feeling bad, because Khonda insulting you. If you like it, then Khonda beat on principle for being weird man. But Khonda letting John Blade and Xian Long know that shameful walk with no panties is embarrassing…and John Blade and Xian Long make embarrassing walk back out of ring with no win.
Now excusing Khonda, but Khonda needing to take little Xian Long after meal….Khonda now calling his poops Xian Long because Khonda hilarious. Not thinking of insult for John Blade yet…because he no matter to Khonda. All he there for is be smashing. Now please be leaving before Khonda Xian Long in pants….
*Khonda walks off camera as we hear a bathroom door open, then close*