Post by koro on May 31, 2016 9:05:03 GMT -5
Harsh florescent lights shine down on a well-furnished home gym. Racks of free weights and dumbbells line the unfinished basement walls. A television hanging on the wall plays Tom and Jerry reruns. A treadmill hovers off the ground, while a loud braying laugh comes from an unseen source. After a moment, the treadmill is tossed aside, revealing a mountain of a man underneath. Still laughing, the Russian Concussion himself, Koro leaps to his feet and looks directly into the camera.
“Koro liking famous American movie stars Tom and Jerry! They making cardio times not so boring, da?”
Koro wipes the sweat from his face with a towel and drops it to the floor. He gestures expansively around the room as he continues. “Welcoming to Koro’s house. Koro still moving in, but having all the important things already. Koro having weights for lift. Having closet full of vodka and meats. Only thing Koro is needing now is New Generation Wrestle title, da? Fancy belt looking good over meat closet!”
He stoops down and picks up a bottle from the floor and takes a long drink. “Ah, stolichnaya better after work outing than water! Water is for weak Americans! Fat, lumpy Americans with their stupid cowboy hat and stupid… stupids.”
Koro's eyes darken as the smile falls from his face. “Soon, Koro stepping into ring for NGW Battle Royale with Cheese. New ring for Koro to conquering. New fans for Koro to hating. New faces for Koro to breaking.”
He takes another long drink from the bottle and wipes his mouth with the back of his other hand. “New faces like Elena Balin and Jackson Ford. They being new to NGW like Koro, but this is only way they being like Koro. They is weak and sad! Koro strong and angry at sad Americans! Koro not caring where Elena Balin and Jackson Ford is coming from or what they did or how hard they working. Koro only caring about where they going when they getting in Koro’s way!”
Koro slaps his massive palm against his thigh while he guffaws like a huge Communist donkey. After a long laughing fit, he catches his breath. “They going to hospital. Koro explaining joke for you stupid Americans. Idiot Americans not getting Russian joke, because Americans too stupid for Russian funnies.”
His knuckles turn white around the glass bottle in his hand. “Koro not caring about weak Americans. Letting them scream and cry for their favorite wrestle mans. Koro will breaking them and taking their titles. Koro taking their wallets and car keys too! Koro taking everything from little American babies. Koro strong like bear! Koro quick like snake. Koro smart like… science bear.”
Koro lifts the vodka bottle to his lips once more and upends it, draining the final third of the liquor inside. As he finishes it, he crushes the glass bottle in his fist with a feral snarl. Shards of glass and flecks of blood fall to the concrete floor, but Koro remains unfazed.
“Soon, we is playing cat and mouse at Vendetta, Elena Balin and Jackson Ford, like famous American movie stars Tom and Jerry, but when Koro catching you, you will not seeing little tweety birds or pretty stars. All you will seeing is how stupid you is to face Koro!”
As he steps out of frame, he yells to someone off camera, “Do anybody having broom? Koro doing the thing with the bottle again. Little help, da?”